The Gourmez has been created to further my quest towards becoming the elusive ‘gourmet’ without bothering about things like tannins and foie gras.

I was 18 before I had tasted tofu, chewed calamari, or lingered over linguini with scallops. My conquest of liquors and the fruit of the vine started with a lime jello shot at a college dorm party. Needless to say, I didn’t know that triple sec was merely blue curacao minus the food dye. I’ve come far from those dark days, but I still couldn’t tell you what puts the sauvignon in a cabernet. So I will continue my journey towards foodie stardom by leaving a trail of reviews for others who consider couscous curious but are determined to try it anyhow. Someday, we can together lift our pinot noirs to the dark sky and marvel at how well it matches with the gruyere and scallion baguettes. No, I’m not sure what gruyere is either.

What you should know about me before perusing my menu: I’m pretty darn picky about certain food items and that will likely color my reviews of some dishes. However, I’m generally willing to try things again, in the hopes that, yes Mom, my taste buds will change.

I hate mushrooms, olives, mustard, cola of any brand. That includes you, Dr. Pepper. So if you're looking for a good review of that stuffed portabella with the dijon sauce, you came to the wrong place.


I can tolerate pickles, ginger, wasabi, beef, raw fish. You'll notice this means that I'll review a bite of Mr. Gourmez' dish containing these items, so if a bite worth of review works for you, then read on.

My rating system is derived from foods I loathe and foods I love. It may be confusing, but at least I know what I’m talking about. That’s always helpful.
Mushroom: Squishy, drab, and usually a fungus. Stay away if at all possible.
Olive: It may come in many colors and flavors, but there’s always a bitter pit at the core.
Chicken: The art of neutrality. It tastes like everything and everything tastes like it.
Avocado: So good, without overwhelming it’s peers. Pure, simple, delightful.
Truffles: Luscious, tantalizing, a masterpiece of it’s genre.
Happy Sampling!
The Gourmez
 
Have a restaurant you'd like me to check out? A wine you've been afraid to buy? Just want to tell me that I'm a lousy judge of the gourmet scene? Email me at
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